Parenting

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Tips, Advice, and One-Liners to Help You Make Mom Friends

how-to-make-new-mom-friends
Photo: @marianastingaci

Getting the hang of feeding, changing, and caring for a baby is one thing. But the mysterious world of mom friends is a whole other ball game. We’re grown women and have made plenty of friends before, but for some reason making ‘mom friends’ can feel so daunting. Here are a few tips for meeting other moms and nurturing new friendships.

MAKING MOM FRIENDS IS LIKE DATING

You gotta make the first move! Be confident, warm, and open and trust that you are going to meet some cool ladies that will become your mama tribe. You got this.

WHY DO YOU NEED MOM FRIENDS?

Because you’re a person. And people need people. And moms definitely need other people. You’re never going to regret having awesome friends. Plus, it’s up to you how much time you’re willing to invest in friendships. You can be a playground-only-mom-friend, a night out girlfriend, or funny text thread friend.

Besides being fun, mom friends can make a great sounding board. Everybody has ups and downs in parenthood and having someone there to reassure you that it’s normal and that you’re doing a great job is hugely comforting.

And best of all, there are few things better than sitting in the sunshine, watching your kiddo play with a new friend while you and your mom friend sit back and talk.

WHERE TO MEET MOM FRIENDS

Anywhere moms exist. (Everywhere!) But you’re most likely to find them at: parks, playgrounds, preschool pick-up, the mall, library storytime, the gym, swim lessons, apps like Peanut, church groups, exercise classes, work, preschool, neighborhood, church, Nextdoor, Meetup.com, local Facebook groups, etc.

She might be someone you’ve never met, or right under your nose. You just need to get out there and find her.

HOW TO ‘PICK-UP’ A NEW MOM FRIEND

When you’re at the playground/swim lessons/library storytime together, pay a compliment and then ask a question. Here are a few examples:

“I love your daughter’s shoes. I’ve been looking at those and was curious if they hold up. Do you like them?”

“The kids are loving this librarian. Usually, he won’t hold still but he’s transfixed. Do you come to this storytime often?”

“Oh, where did you get your raincoat? It’s been so rainy and mine is just not cutting it.”

“Your son is such a good swimmer! Do you guys come here often?”

“I’m glad to see my baby isn’t the only who loves to eat sand. How old is your child?”

Once you’ve connected some dots and shared something you have in common (being at the same activity, having kids similar ages, sharing a similar sense of style), volunteer information that will help you two relate and ask her questions to show you’re interested in her life and child.

“Hey, do you live nearby? We’re actually just down the street so we’re here a lot.”

“Our kids are having so much fun together. What does your schedule look like during the week?”

“Now is Sadie your only child or do you have others? I have a Kindergartener too.”

“It’s really raining out there! We usually go to the YMCA indoor play area on days like this. Have you ever done that?”

“We just bought new sand toys and are planning a meet-up at the park on Friday afternoon. If you give me your number, I can text you when we’re on our way and hopefully we can meet up.”

“Some friends and I take our toddlers on a walk around the lake Saturday mornings at 10. If you want, I can text you so you can join us. I think you’d really like the other moms.”

Remember, you’re trying to get a feel for her interest in connecting, her schedule, and whether your personalities vibe. Don’t worry if it doesn’t feel like a fit. There are plenty of mom friends in the sea!

But, if it feels like you’re connecting, make a move. In order to see each other again, you have to get her number. So don’t be shy and go ahead and ask her. It’s flattering to be included. She won’t mind.

HOW TO NURTURE A MOM FRIENDSHIP

Take it outside the playground. If the two of you really love talking and hanging out with your kids in tow, try hanging out without them! Invite her to go to a movie, get dinner, or join you with some other friends for a girl’s night out. Bring her into your circle. The more you share your life, the closer you’ll become.

So, how do you make mom friends? Do you find it difficult, or no big deal? We’d love to hear how you met your closest mom friends and what they mean to you. Leave a comment below or tag us on Instagram @munchkin_inc to share!

Koseli Cummings

Koseli is a copywriter based in the Bay Area whose clients include Airbnb, Penguin, Red Tricycle, and Design Mom. When she's not writing or podcasting, you can bet she's at a Berkeley park with her four boys.